Bad sex is a way of life. It happens. You move on and get over it. Often neither party is to blame, it’s just the way things are sometimes and any number of things can get in the way. It’s not something anyone should dwell on.
Bad hook ups are a different thing. Bad hook ups can be avoided but it takes honesty, and that is something that can be in short supply!
Scrolling through the apps, looking for someone to come round on Sunday to have some with me and Forrest, I was tapped by a guy who wasn’t too far away. In fact, he was staying at the hotel just around the corner from the office.
As usual, I checked his profile and he seemed sane, so far, so I thanked him for the woof and then the conversation started.
He asked if I was free there and then but I wasn’t and after some more chat and a quick chat with Forrest, I agreed to meet him at the hotel in a few hours, once I’d finished work.
He wanted Forrest to join in and I explained he was home and didn’t want to drive in and he was okay with that.
We carried on chatting, talking about what we were into and any big do nots. He seemed like a nice guy. He was looking for rough play and I was having a bad day so a rough fuck seemed like a good way to get some frustrations out.
The hours ticked by slowly until it was time to head to the hotel. The hotel is notorious for being filled with the elderly on tours of the city and although I never been further than the bar I’d heard it was very old fashioned. Well what I’d heard was all true. I was amazed to find the modern convenience of a lift.
I arrived at his room and he opened the door naked. I’ve no real problem with this but I kinda like the foreplay of undressing a guy or watching them undress.
It went downhill from there.
Firstly, he looked nothing like the picture in his profile. The profile picture was of a bearded built guy but the guy who opened the door was clean shaven and a lot heavier than in the picture he sent.
I have no problem with his body size being bigger than suggested in the picture. A mans body size is never going to be a barrier to me hooking up with them but it was a shock to see a person different from the picture he sent and that pissed me off.
The difference was made more noticeable by the lack of beard. Once again, no beard isn’t a deal breaker but it wasn’t what I was expecting.
Myself and Forrest have had this before. In fact one of our very first hook ups used picture that were easily 15 years old. If he’d sent recent pics we still wouldn’t have said no but we’d have been aware of what to expect.
I accepted this guy wasn’t what I was expecting and entered the hotel room. It was a mess. Old fashioned thanks to the hotel, a mess thanks to him. Breakfast tray, with half eaten food still on the plate, let on the table, and lunch tray next to it. Towels strewn about the place, empty cans in various places.
He was uninterested in undressing me and just lay on the bed waiting for me to join him. Fair enough. I got the impression quite quickly that this would literally just be a quick fuck. So be it.
He wanted rough so I gave him rough. Or rather, I tried too. Starting with orders. He’d told me to use him and call him slut so I did, yet he didn’t seem interested. Telling him to suck my dick, he went up and down twice then back to using his hand and even then it felt like he didn’t really know what he was doing. He’d explained, during our initial chats, that he was bi and I’ve always found bi guys to be a turn on but this fella was just letting me down.
The heat was building up in the room and with no air conditioning I asked if I could open a window. He said he’d rather not. It was his room so I respected that but I’m kinda wishing I hadn’t. I went hunting for a towel as the sweat was pissing out of me. The only thing I could find was the standard hotel bathmat. The kind that people often mistake for a towel. All the other towels had been used. For a guy who said he was only staying one night he’d certainly used every single facility in the room, including all the glasses so I ended up supping some water from the tap, which I hate doing!
While I was mopping myself down we got chatting. I asked where he was from given that he was staying in a hotel and he said he was from the city but was meant to be hooking up with a girl the previous night and she’d backed out so he thought he’d use the room and have some fun. Fair enough.
So, poor picture and messy hotel room, and it just gets worse…
He starts talking about me rimming him, then fucking him and I’m down with that, but first he asks me to give his cock some attention. I like sucking dick so I’ve no problem with this and I’m thinking maybe I’ll show him what to do.
Down I go. It’s small but I’m not a size queen and I work with it so I go to town. A few minutes later I look up and he has his phone in his hand. He’s texting.
“Dude! It’s one thing to film me…” I start
“I wasn’t filming,” he interrupts. I know he wasn’t filming I’m damn sure he was texting.
“It’s one thing to film me,” I start again, “but to fucking text while I’m going down on you is just fucking rude.”
“Sorry, I’m just chatting with another guy about coming down!”
“Another hook up later? Can that conversation not wait until I’ve left!”
“Oh. No. To come and join us!”
Yeah, he was arranging for someone else to come and join us.
This is not okay on a number of levels!
Firstly, Forrest and I have rules around our hook ups! We’ve been together twenty years and the rules works. Those rules include us being aware of who we are fucking. If I’d gone ahead with this three(or more)some I’d be breaking those rules and that’s not something I’m prepared to do! After twenty years together why I would risk fucking that up?
Secondly, you’re texting someone to come round. Someone I’ve not seen, vetted or have any knowledge of. This is not okay! The next fucking Dahmer could be coming through that door for all I know and you’ve not let me know. Fuck that shit!
Finally, texting someone else while you’re getting sucked off? No! Don’t do it! It insanely rude! If you need/want to do it just explain. Sometimes Forrest and I will text people while we’re fucking. What we’re texting is the pictures or video of what we’re doing there and then and we ask each other first. He’ll take a video of me bearing down on him as I’m fucking him and he’ll say can I send that to ? Sometimes it leads to us getting something back or even a video call.
Him doing this pissed me off. So much so I instantly lost any interest and my boner gave up and left and I got angry.
“This was not okay! I’m done!” I said as I got dressed. He apologised but I wasn’t interested.
As I left I looked around the room with disgust and said “This could have been fun but man, that was not okay!”
Back in the car I texted Forrest with my fury and headed home. I’m lucky to have him as when I got home it was hugs and kisses all round and then we had a movie night with food and some vodka. That made up for the shit stain of a hook up.
So, some rules for you if you’re hooking up with me and Forrest, or just one of us…
Rule Number One – Pictures
If you’re sending pics, make them recent. If you’re receiving pics ask if they’re up to date. Ask when they were taken. N.B. Don’t accept expiring pics. I appreciate people need/want discretion but you also need to be safe. If hook ups can’t trust you to be discreet can you really trust them with a picture?
Rule Number Two – Tidy!
If you’re having a hook up round to your hotel room maybe just tidy it up a little. Also, hotel rooms come with bins, use them.
Rule Number Threesomes!
Threesomes, foursomes etc, are fucking awesome. But so is consent! Get it and the fun will be much better!
Rule Number Four – Texting
Don’t fucking text during sex unless you’ve permission from the guy you’re with! It’s just fucking rude!
Bad sex is inevitable. Bad hook ups are avoidable!
Heart of lion, pecs like dinner plates, mind of a whore.
The reason your dad left home and the person to whom you say “You should smile more!” – Fuck off!