What’s your colour? – The Handkerchief Code

A few days ago my Dom (not sure if I should refer to Him as Master or Sir, rather than Dom. That’s a conversation!) invited me (I’m calling it “ordered” but he’s a good guy so it was an invite really) to a Fetish Gear night in Dublin and once clearing it with my husband (who Dom calls my “handler” – nice!, I love it!) I accepted with excitement. 

Geared is Ireland’s largest and longest running fetish gear club night for the kink community and offers a full, late bar, a private smoking area and cloakroom facilities. This is a volunteer run not-for-profit night and all “kinksters” are invited, and all fetish gear is welcome.

So I had to start planning my outfit. Deciding I’m going to wear my black or rainbow kilt, some boots and a harness I was quite happy. But then I started shopping. I found a pair of bracers (or suspenders depending on where you’re from) that have four different layouts and I just had to have them. But then I had to decide on the colour. Red was my first choice so I sent a pic to my husband and he sent me a very positive reply.

I hadn’t even thought about the colour choice! Going by the handkerchief code red would say I was in to fisting. Now, as you’re aware from this blog I’m sex positive and fisting definitely has it’s place in sex. I’ve done it, both giving and taking, but it’s not something I’ve done in quite some time and at my first time at Geared I don’t think it’s something I’d want to advertise. I can’t (and won’t*) say no to my Dom but fisting is a process and I’m not ready for him to order** me to go through with it

But it made me think about the handkerchief code. Years ago I saw it actively working in bars and clubs I’d go to but I haven’t seen in ages, and I wonder do people actually know about it? Do young LGBTI+ people understand it’s significance and importance in queer culture? Or even where it came from and how it developed. If they saw someone in a bar with a handkerchief in their back pocket, on the left or right, would they know what it means?

The theory is that it started with bandanas around the neck. These were common accessories in the mid- and late-nineteenth century among cowboys, steam railroad engineers, and miners in the Western United States. The wearing of bandanas by gay men allegedly originated in San Francisco, after the Gold Rush, when, because of a shortage of women, men dancing with each other in square dances developed a code wherein the man wearing the blue bandana took the male part in the square dance, and the man wearing the red bandana took the female part.

As this trend spread across the country (and world) it replaced keys. In case you didn’t know a bunch of keys clipped to you belt told people if you were a top or a bottom. Clipped to the left meant you were a top, and the right denoted you were a bottom. 

A chap called Alan Selby, the founder of Mr. S Leather in San Francisco, claims that he created the first hanky code with his business partners at Leather ‘n’ Things in 1972, to help them sell more bandanas, but in1964 Bob Damrom published a book of all the gay bars he knew from his travels across the USA. He called it “Bob Damron’s Address Book,” and in it he listed various bars, bathhouses and cruising grounds across the country, and covered all 50 states. In this book he listed the handkerchief code as he’d observed it so I’m calling bullshit on the claims from Selby. 

I’d love to know, did he experience each of the codes or or did he ask the wearer what they were into? Either way it would have made for an amazing conversation and been a great opening line!

In 1980 his code looked like this:

Left	Colour	Right
Greek Active	Dark Blue	Greek Passive
FF’er	Red	FFA Receiver
Has 8”+	Mustard	Wants 8” +
69’er	Light Blue	No 69
Anything	Orange	Nothing
Golden Showerer	Yellow	Receives G.S.
Has Uniform	Olive Drab	Wants Uniform
Hustler	Green	Buyer
Scat Top	Brown	Scat Bottom
Master	Grey	Slave
J/O	White	Give J/O
Whipper	Black	Whippee

The modern code isn’t much different with regard to the colours and their means but the variants have expanding greatly. In fact some of them aren’t even colours!

Do you use it? Would you? What would be your colours?

Me, well mine would be an absolute rainbow of colour and textures and both pockets would be full!  How about you?

Left	Colour	Right
Heavy SM top	Black	Heavy SM bottom
Bondage top	Grey	Bondage bottom
Safe sex top	Black with white check	Safe sex bottom
Light SM top	Grey with black	Light SM bottom
Owns a suit	Grey flannel	Likes men in suits
Likes black bottoms	Black with white stripes	Likes black tops
Latex fetish top	Charcoal	Latex fetish bottom
Has/takes videos	Black velvet	Will perform for the camera
Wants head	Light blue	Gives head
69’er	Robins egg blue	Anything but 69
Is a police officer	Medium blue	Likes police officers
Top	Navy blue	Bottom
Pilot / Cabin crew	Airforce blue	Like pilots and cabin crew
Sailor / Navy	Light blue with white stripe	Looking for sailors / navy crew
Cock & ball torturer	Teal	Cock & ball torturee
Likes to fist	Red	Likes being fisted
Shaver	Red with white stripe	Shavee
Is a bear	Red with black stripe	Likes bears
Cuts	Maroon	Bleeds
Two handed fister	Dark red	Likes being fisted with two hands
Fucks with a dildo	Light pink	Likes to be fucked with a dildo
Nipple torturer	Dark pink	Likes nipples to be tortured
Worships the naval	Mauve	Wants naval worshipped
Spankee	Fuschia	Spanker
Likes arm pits licked / sucked	Magenta	Will sick / lick arm pits
Piercer	Purple	Piercee
Likes drag queens or fems	Lavender	Is a drag queen or fem
Wants trans	Pink with blue and white stripe	Is trans
Watersports top	Yellow	Watersports bottom
Spits	Pale yellow	Like spit
Is 8”+	Mustard	Wants 8”+
Two looking for one	Gold	One looking for two
Like asian bottoms	Yellow with white stripe	Likes asian tops
Likes muscle bottoms	Gold lame	Wants muscle tops
Anything, anytime	Orange	Nothing now, just cruising
Chubby	Apicot	Chubby chaser
Wants a toe sucker	Coral	Sucks toes
Cowboy	Rust	Horse
For rent	Kelly green	Looking to buy
Daddy	Hunter green	Son
Military top	Drab green	Military bottom
Sex for food	Lime green	Will buy food
Rimmer	Beige	Rimmee
Scat top	Brown	Scat bottom
Is uncut	Brown lace	Like uncut
Is cut	Brown satin	Like cut
Likes latino bottoms	Brown with white stripe	Likes Latino tops
Wank me	White	Will wank you
Milker	Holstein	Milkee
Cums in comdon	Cream	Sucks cum from Condon
Likes white bottoms	White lace	Is a white bottom
Likes to watch	White velvet	Likes to be watched
Like white suckers	Light blue with white dots	Likes to suck white people
Likes black suckers	Light blue with black dots	Like to suck black people
Likes latino suckers	Light blue with brown dots	Likes to suck latino people
Likes asian suckers	Light blue with yellow dots	Likes to suck asian people
Park sex top	Red and white gingham	Park sex bottom
Headmaster / teacher	Brown corduroy	Student / Pupil
Bestialist top	Fur	Bestialist bottom
Wants to fuck celebrities	Silver lame	Is a celebrity
Has tattoos	Leopard	Likes tattoos
Smokes cigars	Tan	Likes cigar smokers
Cuddler	Teddy bear	Cuddlee
Wears boxers	Paisley	Like men in boxers
Skinhead top	Union Jack	Skinhead bottom
Outdoor sex top	Mosquito netting	Outdoor sex bottom

*We have an amazing Dom/sub relationship and he knows my limitations and I trust him implicitly. I know that if I say no he’ll respect that and he asks before doing anything new. What I like is that he asks in a way that makes it sound like it’s order or demand but has the very clear definition of respecting my answer.

**He wouldn’t. See above.