Fifteen False Fabrications About Gay Men

I’ve no doubt we could add to this list but here, Brand Doubell, tells us his fifteen myths about gay men.

Gay men…

… are emotional, tidy and have a sense for beauty.
There are just as many varieties of gay men than there are varieties of straight men. Some of us are hairdressers, beauticians, and nurses, but on the other hand some of us are plumbers, electricians and builders. Sorry, it takes all types.

… abuse drugs.
People from different genders, races, colours, creeds, and sexual orientation abuse drugs, and people from exactly the same groups do not. It is true that gay people are at risk of abusing drugs, but this is related to the pressure they have to endure from homophobes. In fact all people from minority groups tend to be at risk of abusing drugs.

… are attracted to all men.
Just like straight men, gay men have their own unique preferences. Some are attracted to more feminine men and others to butch men. Many of us have enjoyed the humorous situation where straight men realize you are gay and appear as if they want to run away. What makes it really funny is when you tell them that they aren’t your type they almost look offended. There are some gay men who will go for straight men and enjoys the challenge in some way, but in my experience gay men are mostly attracted to other gay men.

… are all feminine Queens.
I always laugh at this one. Most people who meet me will never know that I am gay, because I do not fit the bill. Guys like me are never teased about their sexuality because everybody can see that we are straight. The joke is that I am not, and many of the feminine guys you know, are probably straight. In fact there is no difference between the proportion of feminine men among homosexual men and the proportion of feminine men amongst straight men. If you see a feminine guy the chance are fifty/fifty that he is straight or gay.

… are obsessed with sex.
If this refers to the general joke that ladies make about men, then yes, like all other men gays are sexual beings. If it refers to the idea that all homosexual men are promiscuous and can’t be part of a monogamous relationship, it is false. Many of us are in long relationships despite the fact that it was against the law to get married and still is in many places. We differ in our sexual behavior just as much as and even more than straight men. There are for instance more voluntary celibate gay men than celibate straight men.

HIV/AIDS is Gods punishment for gay men.
HIV/AIDS is a disease that spreads through sexual encounters of all people. The ones who are especially at risk are those with many sexual partners. If a gay man has many partners he is definitely at risk, but no more than the straight guy who does the same. If God wanted to punish gay people with a disease, HIV/AIDS would not be the best choice because it spreads among everybody. Unfortunately also among medical workers who tends to sick people and did not deserve to be punished for other people’s sins.

… are not relationship-oriented.
The idea that gays are not interested in long-term relationships is ridiculous. If that were the case why are they fighting for same-sex marriages? The fact that many of us choose to have long-term relationships despite the prejudice, just shows how strong many gays feel about their relationships.

Male homosexuality is caused by traumatic childhood.
There are ample studies that favor the idea that people are born gay. Many gay people had wonderful childhoods. If a traumatic childhood was to blame it would stand to reason that all the kids from such a family would be gay and yet that is not the case at all. As for the idea that gay men were molested as children – there is no evidence to support such a theory.

… are child molesters
Research favors exactly the opposite. Most child molesters are in fact straight. Being gay and being a pedophile has absolutely nothing in common. The one are attracted to the same-sex and the other to children – often the sex does not matter.

Two gay men can’t raise healthy children.
Many children are raised by a single parent and turns out more than okay. In some cases it is a woman who raises these kids and sometimes it is a man. Research fails to suggest that either woman or men does a better job. It differs from person to person. Many children were raised by two gay fathers and there is no evidence that these children were traumatized by it. New research even suggests that children raised by same-sex parents are better adapted.

… frequent the same gay clubs.
Just like some straight couples love clubbing, some gay couples like it as well, but most gay people do not go to gay clubs.

All gay men live according to a certain “gay lifestyle”
I have never found the exact definition of what the above actually means. Some tell me it relates to the free life gay men lives – I have yet to discover what freedom that is. Other tells me that it refers to our good taste. Not all gay men have good taste, not even the feminine ones among us. One person told me it refers to the extravagance. Somehow it seems that gay men are all rich. That is an over-generalization second to none.

All gay men and just gay men practice anal sex, referred to in the Bible as sodomy.
In the first place there are many gay men who do not engage in anal sex and who do not enjoy it at all. Secondly there are many straight couples who do enjoy anal sex more than genital intercourse. The idea that the sin of the people of Sodom was anal sex is also a misconception that I would not go into for the purpose of this list.

Being gay is a choice that some men make.
As the famous slogan goes, if I chose to be gay, when did you choose to be straight? Most straight men get nauseated by the idea of a gay relationship. Obviously they did not choose to be gay; they can’t even consider the idea. The truth is that they were born straight and the mere thought of having a gay relationship makes them sick. This isn’t true about all straight men, but about many. In exactly the same way some gay men get nauseated by the idea of a straight relationship. Nobody chose to be gay – you are born that way. Nobody in his right mind will choose a life where the majority of the population reject your choice.

… are against Christianity and family values
Although most churches went out of their way over the years to alienate gay people, there are still many gay Christians in this world. In fact, because of the alienation some gay people even started their own gay denominations. If any group was alienated like that, they would have said goodbye to Christianity and unfortunately many gay people did. Many gay people clearly state that they do not have a problem with God, but with his disciples. This myth is actually the opposite of the truth because the truth is that many Christian churches are against gay people and not the other way around. Not all people are religious and not all people are Christians and that has nothing to do with sexual orientation. As for family values, all gay people were raised in families and many of us still enjoy the safety and love we receive from our family. Some of us are against families yes, but that is mostly those who were rejected by their own family.

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