Consent – it’s an on-going thing!

Consent is sexy. You might not think so but I promise you it is. Consent really is fucking sexy!

Imagine there’s something you want to do to your sexual partner and you’re not sure if they’ll like it or even let you do it. So mid session you go ahead and try it and they don’t like it. You’ve instantly killed the mood and the sex, if it doesn’t stop, will probably be far less enjoyable. More than likely because you’ll be wishing they’d said yes, and you might get a sense of resentment.

Now imagine, before you get down and dirty, you have a conversation with your partner and you tell them you’d like to try this new thing and they say yes. Not only will you get a boner from talking about it but they’ve just said yes! Get on it!

See! Consent! It’s sexy!

Talking about consent is sexy! Talking about sex can be a massive turn on so while going through your consent conversation you can make it verbal sex. Telling each other what you want to do and how you want to do it.

BUT… you knew there was a but coming didn’t you… consent can change mid session! If you’ve asked first though the mood won’t be changed because they’ve changed their mind. They let you try it, it wasn’t for them, now get on to the rest of the good stuff! Both of you happy.

Consent becomes sexy when you talk about it. Talking about what you’d like to try or what you’re into. Both agreeing your boundaries and knowing that you can do what you want to do.

Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s a requirement! It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together two weeks or two years, consent is always a requirement. And not just once, but every time. And during the sex too! People can change their mind mid session if they want to.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be verbal. Sometimes, in the morning, I’m laying on my side, my ass towards himself and I feel his cock pressing against my hole. If I roll over to face him he stops, we cuddle and we more than likely fuck later. See, consent! It’s there and it’s still sexy!

Other non-verbal queues include pulling or turning away from you, their muscles stiffening and them not responding to your touch. Now think about how you’d feel if you felt any of that? Honestly, I don’t give a fuck how you feel, think about how THEY feel! It’s a clear no! So you fucking stop! Because if you don’t it’s abuse. Fucking abuse!

There’s no consent if:
– A person has not actively agreed.
– A person has protested any way.
– A person gives consent for someone else.
– A person is not capable of giving consent.

Now its talk about “enthusiastic consent.” Enthusiastic consent is when, either verbal or non-verbal, you actively look for the presence of a yes rather than the absence of no.

Enthusiastic consent can look like:
– Asking permission before you change the type or degree of sexual activity with phrases like “Is this OK?”
– Confirming that there is reciprocal interest before initiating any physical touch.
– Letting your partner know that you can stop at any time.
– Periodically checking in with your partner, such as asking “Is this still okay?”
– Providing positive feedback when you’re comfortable with an activity.
– Explicitly agreeing to certain activities, either by saying “yes” or another affirmative statement, like “I’m open to trying.”
– Using physical cues to let the other person know you’re comfortable taking things to the next level.

Remember though, you still need to hear that yes!

Consent! It’s goddamn sexy!

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Some of the information here was taken from the following sources:

https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/sexual-health/sexual-consent/sexual-consent-in-practice/?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=CjwKCAjwk_WVBhBZEiwAUHQCmfPi3po39xstmTtQpwkCCDsLll9zW1qjy9e8-0YCXEshCCbQC95sOhoC2akQAvD_BwE

https://www.drcc.ie/assets/files/pdf/159015550724472171.pdf

https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

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